Weeding the Garden

So, you've joined a site... the messages, pic likes, and penis pics are ROLLING in. You're now in shark infested waters... welcome Ms Fresh Meat.

You need a plan... or at least some guidelines to filter messages. You'll need another set of guidelines before giving out your cell number... and again before meeting. BTW, google your cellphone number. If there is a "hit" with your name associated with this number, look into a "mask" for your number. The scammers use these, why not you?  This process isn't easy and if you have Verizon like me, you only have 5 numbers for blocking creeps... use them wisely. There are some call/txt blocking apps, like "Dead to Me". You should probably pick one. Before you sign up. They can go from "normal" online to offering you "treats" in the parking lot after a drink once you move to phone.


As discussed previously, first messages of unsolicited dick pics and or crude come ons...ignore those.

Btw, this one was scary... should come with a warning label... oh, wait..  Nice prison tattoos... at least we now have an idea "where it's been".  You've been warned.

Out of 200 messages the first week, you still have 150 to deal with. Yes, probably @150. Gonna have to continue narrowing down. Have an age preference? Not younger than your own children? Yep, that'll get rid of another 10.


Not under 35? That'll get rid of another 30-40. I'm not rude to these, that's unnecessary at first. You can either reply or ignore. Depends on how hardcore you were raised that ladies aren't rude- even when necessary. If you're online dating, you're gonna have to get over that, btw. Because after saying you aren't into younger guys, they'll ask to be "friends." You'll agree, to be polite. Then they'll ask if you want to meet.

 Not over 50? That'll eliminate a few more. Sorry I forgot to screenshot this guy (58), prior to deleting my meetme account. He messaged me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I never once replied.

Crude? Not your type? Unintelligible? Sometimes all 3 in one message...

I, personally, require intelligent... or atleast somewhat continuous, conversation. Another of my "no reply" eliminations is a first message of "hi".

 Hi.. and Can I see you tonight? Err, no.

More scammers... again, Standard Anglo name, regular "John Wayne" style photo, broken English (google translator), and apologizing for "bothering you" on a DATING website...

Sometimes you start a conversation... with the remaining 50 "possibles". Frankly, it's overwhelming. Pace yourself. On an "up" note, they tend to make it easier pretty quickly. My personal eliminations include married and or attached men.

After a few messages back and forth, some will start asking/demanding pictures of you... in various states of dress. Have a few stock photos:
What are you wearing? Jammies. I wanna see. Ok.

Are you in bed? Yes. Send me a pic! It's dark. I don't care. Ok:

Send me a pic. I want to see your... well, you can figure it out.

Sometimes you'll start talking and then get bored. It happens...sometimes their new profile picture reminds you of this...

It might take a few days for them to get the hint- note, if you tell them you're no longer interested in them, the conversation will just continue... beginning with "WHY?" and probably end in "bitch". The "fade out" is my recommended online dating departure strategy. Calling me "babe" when we've never met didn't earn any points either.

Um, obviously. Sorry big guy...